Dear Reader,
I thought about trying to take
advantage of you, but I’ve been through some profound life changing
experiences recently and it’s altered my moral outlook. After
having my perspective altered, by a series of painful near death
experiences, I have changed and grown. Just like Aang and Korra
probably did in their respective cartoon narratives. Which leads me
to my point. With my new found maturity comes the understanding that
this relationship is not going to work unless we are totally honest
with each other.
The following exercise regime is based
on a lie. I don’t actually know any “water bending,” and I
don’t know very much about “The Legend of Korra.” More or less
everything I do know was a learned in the process of researching this
article. I can’t move water with my mind despite the fact that I
do know some Tai Chi Chuan (which is a Chinese martial art that uses
movements similar to those involved in water bending). I don’t even
know who Kya is, or how her water bending prowess fits into the
overall narrative, but I do know this: Korra would not want you to be
out of shape! Korra would want you keep the promises you made to
yourself not to eat things that you know are bad for you and she
would want you to enjoy the social and health benefits that come from
regular exercise.
So please, for Korra’s sake, give
this workout a try. It might be hard at first, but when the Lion Turtle withdrew it’s protection from the people of the Water
Tribe, that must have been pretty hard for them too. I bet it
wasn’t easy for them to learn the secrets of water bending by
observing the relationship between the moon and the tides. They
probably had tons of other things they could have been doing besides
staring at the ocean, but they kept up the effort. Why? Because the
ancient people of the Water Tribe knew what Korra knows, and what
we all need to learn: Short term pleasures must be put aside, so that
we can achieve our long term goals!
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| And our goals are to get as close to Waterbending as possible. |
The Moon Spirits don’t reveal their
secrets easily, but don’t forget the powerful metaphor that I
assume was referenced at some point in an episode of “Legend of
Korra” involving Water Bending. “Water is the softest thing in
the world, but with enough time it can wear down mountains or dig out
the Grand Canyon. It always finds the most efficient path as it flows
towards its destination, but if you struck it spontaneously becomes
hard.” After reading that I think you’ll have to admit that
water has great intrinsic value, and that so does physical health.
Therefore, and without further disclaimer. I present to you this low
impact but highly effective “Water Bending Workout!”
Please do it! I told the Lion Turtle
you would. You wouldn’t want to make me a liar would you? Did I
mention that I almost died?
Yours,
James
Water Bending Workout
Fighting Back With Water:
It’s a common misconception that
water bending makes you vulnerable to electrical attacks. Nothing
could be further from the truth. It’s actually the impurities in
water that conduct electricity, master water benders learn to remove
the impurities in water thus making it an effective insulator.
Therefore, let us honor the legacy of the Moon Spirit by drinking
lots of pure water throughout the day and cutting out all sodas and
energy drinks. Dehydration often feels like fatigue, and many of us
find that by simply staying hydrated we can avoid tired feelings that
we previously fought with caffeine.
Caffeine is dehydrating, and only makes
you more tired in the long run. That’s a vicious cycle, of
destruction unlike the life giving cycle of the moon and the tides
which form the basis of water bending. So when you are in training,
drink water not beer, not soda, not energy drinks, and not fruit
juice which is loaded with calories, has no protein and doesn’t
alleviate hunger. Water does alleviate hunger, so when you feel like
having a snack, fight the urge with water. Water Benders know that
the cycle of nature will bring lunch to them in the fullness of time,
and they know the power of water. That’s why they don’t need to
give up on their dreams just to feel full now and guilty later. Even
if you can’t fight entire armies with water, you can use water to
fight hunger and fatigue!
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| What fatigue? |
Balance and Fluidity:
Water bending requires balance,
fluidity, and core strength. The following routine will allow you
develop those attributes while getting a surprisingly strenuous
cardio vascular workout. All you need is two Dixie cups, some open
space, and a piece of string.
Fill your cups with water and hold one
in each hand. Hold them out at arm’s length. Now take three steps
backwards and three steps forwards. Try not to spill any water.
Close your eyes and repeat your steps
without spilling any water.
Hold your arms out to sides, and stand
on one leg. Close your eyes and lower your foot to the floor and
switch legs. Try to switch legs 10 times without opening your eyes or
spilling the water. It should take you about a month to get the hang of doing this right. After a month, you can vary your hand positions
to make it harder. For example holding both arms straight overhead.
Sit down on the floor without spilling
your cups of water. The only rule is that you cannot spill the
water. You can use any motions you want. This will be very hard at
first but it will also teach you a lot about balance and mobility.
Now stand up without spilling the
water. If you find it easy to do this progress to the next level by
doing it with closed eyes. Sit down and stand up 10 times.
Now put your water aside and stand with
your toes touching a wall and your feet touching. Now squat down as
far as you can without falling backward. At first your body will hit
the wall and push your back. As you become more flexible you will be
able to perform squats in this way. It takes very high level balance
and flexibility to do this, which is why it is a staple of
traditional Tai Chi training. The beauty of this is that the knees
never go past your toes so there is never a risk of knee injury. Try
to do 10 wall squats, but be aware that you will have to practice
every day until you can get one wall squat. If you can do all ten
easily then close your eyes. If you can do ten with your eyes closed
try to work your way up to 20. However, doing 10 wall squats already
puts you in pretty rare company. The only secret is regular practice.
 |
| Regular practice yields results. |
Next, tie a rope to something sturdy
that weight at least 45 lbs. Traditionally we would just use a tree,
but feel free to be creative. Stand naturally (feet parallel) with
your eyes closed, and pull on the rope as hard as you can with one
hand without moving your feet or leaning your head forward or
backward. Gradually pull harder until you lose your balance then
switch hands. Try to pull the object towards you even if the object
is immobile. Perform this exercise 10 times on each side. Then turn
so the tree is behind you and perform the same exercise 10 times each
side.
Next, stand on your right leg and touch
your left big toe with your right hand alternate between your left
and right legs. See how many switches you can make without falling
and try to beat your number next time. Now have some water.
Unfortunately, the last part of this
workout is a bit harsh. However, it is necessary to push your limits
a little bit in order to extend your limits.
To get ready close your eyes and lie
down on your back. Stand up without using your right arm or opening
your eyes, then lie back down on your back and stand up again without
using your left arm or opening your eyes. This counts as one rep for
the last exercise. Your goal is to perform 100 reps to end your
workout.
There are only two rules eyes closes
and only one arm at a time. Besides those two rules you can rest as
much as you want between reps or use any technique you want to stand
up. You will find that standing up and sitting down with your eyes
closed is very hard and that it will test your entire nervous system
as well as ware your entire body out in a matter of minutes. You will
find that your brain has to work overtime to discover new motor
patters to help your keep your balance and use your body efficiently.
You will also be shocked and how hard this workout is on your
abdominal muscles. However, because this workout trains both your
mind and body, you will make rapid gains as your brain adapts to the
challenge and you will keep the extra physical confidence you acquire
for the rest of your life.
Take the Water Bending challenge and
try this routine and the diet recommendations above every day for a
month. Then, switch to doing it the routine three times a week to
maintain your coordination, mobility, and core strength as you use
them to pursue other goes. If you do this routine all the way
through even once you will never see your body the same way again and
will have a solid foundation for internal Kung Fu training (the poor
man’s air bending) as a collateral benefit.
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(Edit from Stephen: Support us on Patreon!
Start with the above training before you begin any of the things I am about to write. Do it for 1 month, three times a week. At the end of the month, you may do the above training, plus one of the following trainings. You will continue to train three days a week for at least another month.
After that, you may attempt to add more days of training, until you reach 6 days of training (this should be gradual and take you about a year). After a year, you will be doing the above training with one of the following groups of exercises six days a week.
Over the next year, you can experiment with doing 2 of the following or all three of the following during the week in addition to the above training. However, please start slowly and don't overdo it.
1. Combat Training:
Here is a video of the Yang Style Tai Chi Short Form (Part 1) and Long Form. Practice these forms starting at 15 minutes a day, adding time gradually. Eventually, I've been told the Long Form should take you about 45 minutes to complete because will be doing the form so slowly. If the videos I have linked are not the correct forms for Yang Style Tai Chi, I apologize.
I can certainly add more for reference, if needed.)
2. Stance Training:
Here is also a list of the stances of Tai Chi. If you're looking to mimic the style of the other workouts, you may practice each of these stances for 10 minutes a piece.
3. Additional Conditioning: (Choose 2)
- Swim for 1 Hour (any stroke, take breaks if needed)
- 200 Kettlebell Swings (start at a light weight and build up)
- 200 Side Switch Kettlebell Swings (see picture below)
- 50 Sets of Atlas Stone Lift and Carry for 20 Meters (start light)
- 25 Butterfly Stretch Squats (about half way down the page)
- Low Horse Stance for 2 Hours Max
That's all for today! Until next time, good luck and train hard!
(James has written several articles for various Martial Arts resources and has trained in Tai Chi, Karate, and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.)
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